Recording “I Look to You” was the result of what some may call little, but I will call a mighty miracle. As I discussed song options with one of the producers, we talked about using a song I had already recorded a few years back for many reasons. As we talked, I thought it would be really great to bring a new song into the program if I could find one that fit and felt right. I was given a day to listen to some other options and decide. I listened to all of my favorite Christian artists, some songs I had recently heard that I thought may fit, and started creating a little 5-6 song playlist on Spotify to hold these ideas. There were some good options, but nothing was really striking me in a way that I knew it was the song that was needed.

 

Around 10:30pm, after listening all day, I parked my car in the driveway and looked down at the playlist. I scrolled down and saw the “songs suggested based on your playlist section” to find the words “I Look to You.” The title drew me in and I pressed play to give it a listen. As the song started I was immediately enveloped by the words and the beautiful voices of the Christian Group, Selah, that sang them. I could not stop listening, so I added it to my list. The next morning I started fresh by listening to the 6 songs I had put on the playlist on my way to work. “I Look to You” gave me goosebumps and brought tears to my eyes. Once I arrived at work I listened again and tried to sing along, but tears were falling from my cheeks, and chills covered my body. My heart and personal experiences in recent years were tethered to the lyrics. I had felt very deeply what the words were describing, and I knew others in my life who had felt such things as well. I sent the playlist to the producer and told him to let me know what he thought about the songs and said, “‘I Look to You’ has been giving me all sorts of chills and lumps in my throat every time I listen to it. Not sure if it’s because I’m supposed to do that one, or if it’s because I relate to it so deeply but…really cool song.” A few minutes later he called me and said that of all the songs that one had stuck out to him the most as well. We discussed further and still thought maybe it’d be best to just do the song I had already recorded because of time and adding this last minute. I told him I’d be happy to do whichever he and the director felt would fit best. We decided we’d send both options to the director and see what she thought. Her reply after listening to both options was: “No question. ‘I Look To You.’” We found out it had been a favorite of hers since she first heard Whitney Houston’s version years ago. She said that just the day before (the very same day I was searching and randomly lead to the song on Spotify) she was listening to a Spotify mix, and the very same Selah version got thrown in and she thought to herself, “We should be doing this song!” The producer’s comment to me was, “How’s that for a sign?”

 

I sat there staring at that text in awe. Because of a trial life has brought me in recent years, and the betrayal, heartbreak, and pain I have been trying to heal from, I have felt like heaven has been distant. Like I have been blocked from feeling and hearing my Heavenly Father. Tears filled my eyes as I realized all of those tiny details, those random circumstances, and those sweet emotions pulling me toward that song, were not actually random at all! We were guided to this song on the same day. A song that meant a lot to one of us for many years, and a song that had never been heard, but brought great comfort to the heart of the other as she heard it for the first time. I knew then that somebody really needed this message to be heard, and He was making it happen.

 

My heart has swelled with joy as I have realized that the Lord is still speaking to me. He’s still using me as an instrument. I can still feel and respond to His promptings, and maybe I’m not as blocked from heaven as I think I am. I will never forget the experience it was to record this song, the feeling in the room, and the tears that were shed by all present. I hope as you listen, you will feel the encompassing love of the Savior. This experience has reminded me that God is in the details. He knows you, He knows your needs. Even when you feel you’re about to lose your breath and there’s no more fight left in you, He is aligning all of those tiny, random details to come to light at the most perfect time. In the meantime, His arms are there to turn to, to lift you, and to make you strong.